Last weekend, my whole family was shopping at my favorite store, Meijer. (For those of you who are not familiar with it, think Super Walmart, with more groceries and a healthy dose of Midwestern culture.) We were dashing about filling our cart with storage bins and brightly colored kids’ clothes hangers, some bug spray, etc., when EEEEEEEEK!!! passing by the entrance to the checkout lane, I saw it, on the bottom shelf, right where small children would have the best view, GQ magazine. GQ stands for “Gentleman’s Quarterly,” but of course, the kind of “gentleman” they mean is the same kind in “gentleman’s club,” the kind who thinks women’s bodies are simply objects to be ogled, existing solely to increase blood flow to certain sensitive male organs, a man who makes it his lifestyle to consume images (and more) of these bodies for his own pleasure, in other words, about as far from a “gentleman” as you can possibly get. This particular issue of GQ sported a woman nearly entirely naked, seductively removing the only piece of clothing the picture showed: her bra.
Now I’m used to the check lane magazines being a smut bath. I’ve worked for years NOT to look at them while standing in line. I’ve told my children not to look at them. The cleavage, the tight clothes, the sensual poses, I might feel sick to my stomach, but I’m not surprised anymore. But this. This was shocking. This was a soft core porn magazine. In the store where I buy my children’s milk.
I had to complain. I knew I had to complain. I pulled the top magazine off the stack, and asked my husband to take the kids through the line while I went to Customer Service.
I was terrified. I HATE conflict. I’m a little mouse by nature. (This is one reason why I blog. I can take hours to formulate my ideas and be absolutely certain they are what I want to say before I release them into the big, bad universe.) But I knew I had to say something. I could not continue to shop at a store that displayed GQ where my children walked. Could not. But this was my favorite store. We buy so much at Meijer that it’s a family joke. (“That’s nice. Where’d you get it?” “Meijer.” Eyes roll.) If I didn’t do something, where was I going to shop?
Besides that, Christians are called to be salt and light. It was time to shed a little light on the horrendous inappropriateness of what Meijer had done, and pour some preservative salt on the rotting corpse of our community’s moral state.
I was shaking.
I walked up to the counter and asked to see the manager. The young lady at Customer Service asked my name and what this was regarding, and I showed her the magazine cover. She agreed that it was awful, and thus began a nerve-wracking few minutes in which she and the other young lady brainstormed who might be available. This lady wasn’t answering her phone, so how about this other lady? And then, oh misery of misery, they decided to call a man. Egh. I figured there was no way he would even care. He’d probably be laughing up his sleeve all the way to his lunch break where he’d cozy up with his computer and a few XXX websites.
But if I didn’t do something, where was I going to buy my children’s milk?
My face was red and my voice still shaking as I told the man my story and (wince) handed him the degrading magazine. (Long-time readers of this blog will be able to imagine my inner turmoil at actually handing a man a copy of GQ, a magazine designed by calculating and opportunistic experts to tempt and arouse him as much as possible so that he would be certain to shell out the money for his very own copy to take to the men’s room and “cherish.” But this was for my children and all the other children who would walk through that check lane and have their innocence chipped away by those same calculated temptations.)
And to my utter surprise, the man was highly professional. He said he agreed that it was inappropriate. He gave me his direct phone number and said if it wasn’t fixed within a week that I should call him. And then, in the middle of the week, he called me. He told me he was looking in to getting covers for the magazines, but that in the mean time, he had pulled them from the shelves. Amazing. I never thought it would be so easy. By the time he called I was already trying to think of where else I could shop if things didn’t work out with Meijer, but miraculously this story actually had a happy ending. I was thrilled.
It all goes to show that we do still have a voice. Maybe not all the time, but there is still power in a concerned customer’s fighting for children. If you live in the Midwest and shop at Meijer, I urge you to make your voice heard as well. Maybe we can get GQ permanently off their shelves. And if you shop anywhere else, I urge you to make your voice heard there, too. We are the customers. We shouldn’t have to put up with the exploitation and degradation of women and an assault on our family’s innocence when we’re out shopping for our children’s milk.
You are awesome! What an amazing story! The manager sounds very professional and responsive. And you’re absolutely right ~ there’s no reason to have to confront such awful items when one is out shopping for milk. Thank you for your efforts in battling against the pornification of our culture.
Blessings,
Luci
Well done! Thank you! I never look at the magazine endcaps, but if this one catches my eye, I will definitely be going to customer service. And, I am NOT afraid of conflict
I think you were very brave and kudos to you for having the courage to speak your mind! I’m very glad the manager was responsive and you are absolutely right that such covers should not be on display in the check-out line next to the candy and plastic trinkets and other things there solely to draw children’s (and adult’s) eyes.
I just wish you hadn’t included the line “Maybe we can get GQ permanently off their shelves.” in the last paragraph. I think the store should put plain paper covers over magazines like these, but they should continue to sell them. You have every right to expect a store where you can buy milk and clothes and other things without having to worry about shielding your children’s (or your own) eyes or worrying about what they might accidentally see. However, I also feel very strongly that others have every right to expect a store where they can pick up the latest copy of GQ while they are buying their milk, as repulsive as I myself might find that magazine to be.
I don’t want individual customers, or groups of customers, or the manager of the local Meijer telling me what I can and cannot buy. For every offensive magazine or book that objectifies women that we might try to get off the shelves, I’m sure there is a breastfeeding support book that I desperatedly needed that some group of people wanted removed from the shelves because it included breast in the title, or even because some strident feminist thought it subjugated women by tying them to their babies. If I want the freedom to make my own moral choices and teach my daughter about my values, then I have to allow others that freedom, even if they persist in making what I think are the “wrong” choices.
Adele,
In general, I agree with you. For instance, Meijer sells People Magazine, too, and while I personally would never read People, I have never made a visit to Customer Service to complain about it for pretty much the reasons you gave. But at some point, there is a line. I bet we would both be outraged at child pornography in a grocery store (or anywhere). It is exploitation pure and simple. And it’s dangerous because it encourages horrible behaviors. What about hardcore porn? Does that belong in a grocery store? I don’t know you well enough to know what you’d say. But I believe that it victimizes and objectifies women very nearly as much as child pornography does children. So now we come to soft core porn. I think you’re saying that you don’t think it crosses the line. In my mind it does. GQ exists to provide men with fodder for sexual fantasy sessions. It sends exactly the same message as any other kind of porn: “the people in these pictures are not human beings to be valued and respected, but rather they are objects for you to consume.” When we reach the point of consuming other human beings, I believe we have found the line where civilized people should stand up and say, “No.”
Oh, I am such a nerd.. i thought GQ was about men’s fashions! Now that I put it that way, why would men like a magazine about men’s fashions? Anyway, good job on the confrontation. And hurrah for the success.
Oh Wow! You are so much braver than I! I was getting all flustered feeling inside while reading this, just feeling for you. I too am very “mouse-like”, and my husband generally deals with any confrontation type of thing. Guess you couldn’t exactly hand that trash to your husband to take care of though. I am so glad that you did the right thing.
I agree that hardcore porn does not belong in a grocery store. I was going to say that GQ is not really softcore porn, but my husband has called it exactly that and I’ve never examined it closely myself so I can’t disagree! I guess I don’t know where I draw the line. I think that many other magazines send the message that people are objects for consumption, including People Magazine that you mentioned, especially the “Sexiest Man” and “Beautiful People” issues. And I know Cosmopolitan is used by men as fodder for sexual fantasy sessions. I think, because I see a large gray area where there could be legitimate differences of opinion about whether a given magazine is appropriate in a family store or not, I default to erring on the side of leniency.
This is another topic I plan to discuss with my husband tonight. Thanks for another thought-provoking post!
Adele
I could hear the theme from ‘Rocky’ as I read your post ;o)
Good for you! Even if the ending had been different, you stood for your convictions! That will go a long way for your kids watching you.
As I said on FB, this warms my heart. Thanks for complaining on behalf of all of us.
Hi!
Fought a similar battle years ago at our local grocery store. I was known for turning the top issue over of any mag that I found offensive in the checkout line. LOL! There was never anything as horrid as you describe, though. Eventually, the management got the message and put plastic covers over certain mags.
But, stay vigilant! New manager = no covers! Discovered that a few weeks ago!
For the short-term solution that sends a message, turn that top copy over!
First of all, I am glad you did the right thing for yourself and your family. You are regular customers there, and had every right to request that the store accomodate your preferences. Congratulations on that.
I find porn distasteful, but I am a First Ammendment fanatic and believe that consenting adults (emphasis on ADULTS) should be able to produce, distribute and consume it. So I’m with Adele, that paper covers or more discreet placement would be a better option tha removing it entirely.
A smart business tries to accomodate the preferences and sensibilities of its valued customers.
(Also, a side note on Adele’s comment, which I know was just a hypothetical example — I know many strident feminists who are militantly pro-breastfeeding, and not a single one who leans the other way. In fact, I am the only one I know who is….well, not anti-breastfeeding, but just not a big fan of it, personally.)
The only issues of GQ that I’ve ever seen had men on the cover (in the same way that something like Glamour magazine always has women gracing the cover). However, since it IS like a male version of Glamour or Cosmo, there will still be inappropriate headlines on the cover, regardless of who is in the photo. (For instance, there are always headlines about the “secrets to better sex,” which younger children should not be reading.)
That’s awesome that you had the strength to do that! I’m such a chicken about that kind of stuff.
Hi. I am so glad you stood up,you kept me on the edge of my seat. I ALWAYS turn the magazines over and my kids just look at me like I am crazy ,but they understand that my convictions are strong .What exactly could I say if I were to do what you did?
^as a quick follow-up to the comment I just made, I guess I’ve been very lucky to only catch glimpses of the covers that include men. I was compelled to Google the magazine and get a look at some of the past covers, thinking that women only appear on the cover every once in a while… but there’s a woman on the cover every third issue or so, and each time the woman is dressed very inappropriately (while the men are almost always dressed in professional attire).
I’m so glad that the man you talked to was so understanding!
Gaby,
Thank you for the encouragement!
Here’s approximately what I said:
“Hello, is there a manager available?” The Customer Service person took my name and asked what this was regarding. I said, “Well, this magazine was in your check lane right at my children’s eye level,” then I showed the magazine, “and I think that it is totally inappropriate, and I’m pretty upset about it.”
When the manager came, I introduced myself and my children (they make a good visual aid), and then said something similar to what I’d said before. “I was walking past your check lane and I saw this,” (here I showed him the magazine). “This is right at my children’s eye level, and as we go through the check lane, it’s practically impossible to keep them from seeing it. And it is completely inappropriate for children.” The man I talked to took it from there, but if the person you were talking to wasn’t showing much initiative, you could say that you’d be very grateful if the store would get covers or remove the magazine completely.
Good job! I did almost exactly the same thing a while back with our local store. Sports Illustrated had a “painted on bathing suits” issue RIGHT AT EYE LEVEL for my sons. I didn’t get quite the same response from customer service, though! One lady actually said to me, “You think THIS is offensive?” and then laughed! Several more of my friends had to go up to the store and complain as well before they finally removed the magazine.
I have had good luck with Meijer, at my local store they have flaps that fit over such magazines, like “cosmopolitan” and other smutty things.