“Do you think Santa will be able to find you at your Grandma’s house?” asked our friendly vet. “Maybe you should leave a note at your house.”
My daughter cast a sideways glance at me, “Um…I don’t think he knows where we live…”
Our family doesn’t “do” Santa Clause. I’ve explained to our children some of the stories about the historical Nicholas of Myra, what many of our culture’s “Santa” traditions are, that some families like to pretend about Santa, and that some parents actually do lie to their children about him. Our children know it’s important that they don’t tell other children that Santa isn’t real because it upsets some people. (I learned that one the hard way when I was around five. I told a true Santa believer that it was just a game some families played. She went crying to her mother, and maternal wrath came down upon my poor bewildered head.)
At our house, Christmas is for Jesus. But year after year, we get these awkward questions from well-meaning adults, and this year it occurred to me that this is actually a chance for our children to have a gentle witness. It’s a chance for them to give an answer for the hope that’s within them.
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: –1 Peter 3:15
My husband and I have been brainstorming ways for our children to sweetly and respectfully reply to Santa questions while still bringing out the fact that the best thing to celebrate at Christmas is Jesus, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, too. What does your family do about Santa Clause, and if you’re like us in that you don’t pretend about him at Christmas, what have you taught your children about appropriate responses to the adults who ask about him?
My husband and I both grew up with Santa and it never occurred to us not to do the same thing with our kids, until a very few years ago. Now I have a mix of teenagers and littles and wish we had never started the tradition, but we have no idea how to stop.
The older kids don’t think we should spoil it for the younger ones even knowing our reasons. They have really enjoyed the excitement and anticipation
So I’m not sure. We have a two year old and a baby on the way and I would really like to do things differently, but the 7 year old and 9 year old are making it a tough call.
We used to say that we “didn’t believe in Santa” but that really horrified our elders for the most part.
I wish I was more help! As our eldest is 2.5yo, and has never been taught about Santa, it hasn’t been an issue yet. I hope you get some good responses!
We teach our children (4 and 6) to respond respectfully and quietly to adults that we celebrate Christ’s birth and not Santa, or that “We don’t do Santa at our house”. They are not allowed to tell children “there is no Santa”, because it would only hurt the child’s feelings, but we are to pray for the child and their parents. It was hard for me not to let them preach it in the streets, but it has been my experience that it only sews hostility and people take it personally.
We also teach about Nicholas and who he really was. I just came across this book and am going to purchase it for my kids.
http://www.amazon.com/Story-St-Nicholas-More-Reindeer/dp/0882640054/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=IQ4VTOZSU7DH9&colid=31F7FWC15RAWW
We were met by extreme opposition from our families in our decision. It is a blessing to find other parents who value truth in every situation. God bless your family, and have a very Merry Christmas!
I’m going to get shocks all around. We do not celebrate Christmas. We do what we do to please our families (extended), but it is not something we feel obligated to do. Back when we did do it, we definitely did not do Santa. It seemed very logical not to do it. I just told my kids that it’s a thing that some families do, so we just let it be that.
Jena,
I don’t think that’s shocking at all. We have other friends who don’t celebrate Christmas either. What is the main reason for your family?
We treat Santa like Mickey Mouse or Clifford…we read about it…it’s a fun story…we even have santa placemats but we do not tell our kids there is a Santa. We don’t make a big deal about it..we have so many fun traditions and special things in December my kids don’t even care!
-sandy toes
We don’t do santa either. We told our children about Nicholas and where the legend of santa came from. My parents are not Christian and they are big santa people so it was hard for my parents. I realized we had to have a discussion about how to reply to people about santa when my aunt said something to my then 3 yo son about santa coming and he replied with “Santa’s dead.” OOPS… He knew there was a Nicholas who lived long ago, so was now dead… yes, he was going around telling people that santa was dead. We have since remedied this! It does make such a funny story though.
Mrs. P,
I hate to stir up the waters by talking about small matters like this. Here again, I’m not even concerned if anyone agrees or disagrees with my stance, and I especially do not want to rob anyone of the joy that they receive from celebrating the holiday.
A few years ago, we were burdened about witnessing to those of the “church of Rome”. We kept on researching and researching these issues and eventually went to the source: The Two Babylons. It’s such an old book and very hard to read that I almost didn’t make it through. We weren’t really interested in researching holidays or their significance, but it came to light during the reading of this book.
In short, that’s where it started.
We have enjoyed Christmas for 21 years with our children without Santa Clause. We don’t make a big deal about it either way. My children have always known the “Truth” about the man in the beard at the mall – but it’s all in fun. We have taught them (hopefully) to respect other families traditions. We have lovely Christian friends and family who participate in the Santa thing so we are sensitive to that part of their celebration.
We used to do Santa and then I was saved a few years ago and couldn’t lie to my children any more. I just had one child at the time who was old enough to know the Santa story. He was quite hurt that we had lied to him, but did say he thought it a bit strange that Santa had a magic key which could get him into peoples houses who didn’t have chimneys! I’m mortified at the lies we told and thinking about it how scary that a big old man could sneak into our houses without us knowing and we would allow our children to sit on Santa’s knee if we went to a santa’s grotto.
We received great opposition from family when we told them that we no longer do santa, we celebrate Christ’s birthday, they think we are being incredibly cruel to our children and ruining the spirit of Christmas. They already thought I had turned into a religious nut and belonged to some cult!! Just last week my mother-in-law asked my daughter if she had been a good girl, because if she was at all naughty now santa wouldn’t bring her any presents and she knows that we don’t do santa and why.
We don’t “do Santa” at all. I just tell others that “Yes, our children get presents. They know they are from their parents. They also know that they will get presents because we love them, not based on their behavior.” Normally, I don’t get much complaints after that. My children just give others a look as if they feel sorry for them when asked, “What Santa is going to bring them?” I save the younger ones and explain for them.
But I have asked them to respect other parents “rights” by not discussing it with their children. Nevertheless, on second thought maybe that was wrong. We should not be afraid to share Christ just because someone might be offended. So maybe we are telling them to not be truthful and expose error for fear of offending others. I’ll have to think on that some more. (Like I have time to be thinking.) :0
Berean Wife
we’ve never done “santa” in our home. My parents always told us santa was fun to pretend but Christmas was to honor Jesus and we’ve carried on that tradition with our children. Our kids don’t tell others that santa isn’t real but they do say they don’t believe in santa and tell others the real meaning of christmas.
It is comforting and encouraging to read all these comments.
(Vicki – Our extended family thought we were ‘religious nuts’, too. Then the Santa thing sent them into speeches about depriving our daughter, even denying her of imagination!)
As has been mentioned several times, we also have taught who Nicholas was and where the Santa story originates, as well as ensuring our daughter recognized the importance of not interferring with other families’ traditions.
Actually, we don’t abolish Santa from the house. But it has always been clear that it is a game for fun – nothing more.
Our traditions for Christmas include baking a birthday cake for Jesus, hanging a stocking for him, too. On Christmas day, our present to Christ is to put a written prayer in the stocking outlining what part of our life we want to change for him.
(Amy, the ‘Santa’s dead’ story is a classic!)
We did what Sandy toes does: minimize Santa and treat him like a character such as Clifford or whatever. We always told our children that Santa wasn’t real. (Our oldest didn’t WANT to believe that Santa wasn’t real, though — children seem to want to believe in something like that. We never lied, though.)
I have no answers. I grew up in an anti-Santa home and we had no clever, graceful, witnessing answer to inquiries about the man in red.
My Mom and Dad told us kids to say we celabrated Jesus at Christmas, buecuse that’s what it was all about. We never had problems with this.
I managed to stamp out Xmas from our lives with the older two kids because we were in Japan (and my Japanese husband is offended by Christianity, so we didn’t “do” Xmas at all), but not with my youngest. I don’t need to lie to my son — his Catholic school teachers have him believing the Santa lie, and all I do is perpetuate it.
On one hand, I suppose it’s evil to lie to him, but it’s sure great to threaten him with no presents when he’s bad!
Thirteen years ago, our 2-year-old daughter (and first child) asked me if Santa was in the manger. That really bothered us. It bothered us enough to not “do the Santa bit” anymore. Yes, it was hard on the extended family the most. We have tried to downplay it. We do give gifts, but our children know they are not from Santa.
Years ago, I remember how amazed my children were when we told them the story of Santa. One of my girls said, “And people believe this?” We have told them not to dash the hopes of other children. Sometimes our children will respond, “That’s just not our thing”, and that comment has helped us out, because it’s not placing blame or guilt on the other person. I believe parents have the responsibility of making those decisions. Notice I did not say grandparents. In my opinion, they had their decision-making time when they were parents. Yet…we still are commanded to love and honor them.
I guess we have somehow managed to not emphasize who Santa is at all with our youngest. Yesterday, he asked me, “How old is this ‘Santa Anna’ man…that hands out presents, and when did he start being nice?” (His frame of reference is the Alamo…remember?)He’s a smart little guy from Texas, yet time is a hard concept for young ones. I had to share…it made me smile…and then start explaining! And they say no imaginations, huh?
We do Bishop Nicholas and give gifts at Christmas like Jesus had..We teach that Santa is a lovely story and isn’t it wonderful that people want love and good things in the worldWe also celebrate advent and Epiphany.This counteracts alot of problems my 2 eldest have never felt they miss out.Not teaching Santa explains why poor children miss out.
If you feel it is appropriate and you can do it honestly, you might tell your children about the real St. Nicholas, and explain that in some countries people remember him on his own day (which is supposed to be the day of his birthday in heaven) just as people sometimes remember a dear family member on their birthday, or as we honor Abraham Lincoln.
St. Nicholas was known for his anonymous generosity. So people in other countries may remember St. Nicholas by exchanging cookies or small gifts. So if you wished, you might bake cookies on that day (December 6), or exchange handmade Christmas ornaments, or even pledge to give your time in a food pantry or other community service. In this way, the generosity of the Saint is honored as he and his Savior would wish.
Then, when your children are asked about Santa, they could say that Saint Nicholas, or Santa, was a very generous person, and they are learning to be generous, too, because Jesus said it is better to give than to receive.
As an alternative, it is possible to find small figurines of Santa kneeling at the manger and worshipping the Christ Child. I create a small nativity scene in which Santa is present and worshipping. Think of all those medieval and baroque paintings in which contemporary people are included as honoring the Baby.
If we Christians reclaimed Santa Claus as St. Nicholas, and with St. Nicholas pointed to the baby in the manger, the unchurched might see a glimpse of the unmatched generosity of God in giving Himself to us.
Dr. Terry Watkins has written a great booklet called, “Santa Claus: The Great Imposter.” Using history and Scripture, he argues that the Santa Claus of today actually has nothing to do with the legendary St. Nicholas and is very dangerous for children. The booklet is available here for $2.50: http://www.av1611.org/tracts/index.html
I realize this is an old post, but I remembered it being here and searched for it because this came up last night with my husband and I wanted to read the responses! Our daughter is only 6 months old so she obviously doesn’t care about holidays or presents yet, but my husband asked me, “Are we going to ‘do’ the Easter bunny?” I kind of looked at him sideways because he knows I don’t want to lie to our kids about Santa, and he said, “Not pretend he’s real, but have an Easter egg hunt?” That much is fine with me! Anyway, it’s a good question about Santa – because following the Easter Bunny conversation my husband said I had won him over on that one. I think we’re going to explain the truth but still give ‘anonymous’ presents – maybe have stockings that each person can add to everyone else’s stocking secretly??
With us, the problem will be with our moms, especially one of them we think – the Christian one, oddly enough. He said maybe we can pretend to pretend that Santa is real – but come to think of it, isn’t that lying about lying? :S We’ll have to think on that, and on the right response to give. I think something like “We celebrate Jesus at Christmas [Easter]” might be the best.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post, and comments!