The View from the Veil: My Journey into Full-Time Headcovering

“So,” I said to my friend as I perched on the edge of the hotel bed, “I’ve made the leap into ultimate freakdom. I’ve started covering my head full time.”

Those of you who know me (or have been reading my blog for awhile) know that I cover my head. For some time, I’ve wanted to share my story here, but I worried about how to do it. So often, Christians make little differences like this into litmus tests to decide who’s in their holiness club and who isn’t. And while I’m always thrilled to know other women who cover (even Muslim women and I have often exchanged special, knowing smiles), I want to make it perfectly clear that I can love you and respect you as my sister in Christ no matter what your position on headcovering.

Mat 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

My headcovering is my tithe of mint, so to speak. I fully accept that it is not one of the “weightier matters.” It is a million times easier to put a headcovering on when I fix my hair in the mornings than it is not to get irritated at my children. (Although, wearing the headcovering has often brought me up short when I am irritated because I realize that my children are looking at a tight faced woman with dagger-eyes, glaring at them under a covering, which is supposed to mark her as one who claims the name of Christ, and the ugliness of my rotten testimony has instantly quenched my fire.) But all in all, I recognize that there is infinitely more to the Christian life than covering your head, and if you’ve figured out how to rejoice always, conquered your irritation, or even learned to be a good steward of your time, you are way further along in holiness than I!

Why am I bothering to write this then, or even to cover my head at all? Because, “these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.” God still meant for His people to tithe their mint, and I cannot be intellectually honest with the Bible and not come to the conclusion that I am supposed to cover my head.

But it’s a strange practice today. And while it looks to me like headcovering is making a small comeback, there still aren’t that many of us who live this way, and because of that, though it is a small matter, I wanted to try to tell my story and explain my position in hopes of encouraging others who are on this path and of helping those who aren’t to understand a little better their covering sisters.

This journey began in my aunt and uncle’s fifteen passenger van in Grand Rapids. I was fourteen years old. The young man who would someday be my husband was sitting on the bench seat behind me. He was sixteen. We had just met me the night before. As we drove towards church Sunday morning, my aunt turned around in her seat, an assortment of headcoverings in her hand, “The women at our assembly wear little mantillas…”

The Christian practice of headcovering comes from I Corinthians 11:3-16. I’ve included the full text at the end of this post, but here is a taste.

“But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head…let her be covered” (1 Corinthians 11:5a and 6b).

When we got to church, I put on a mantilla. I saw my reflection in the van window. Intriguing. A strange feeling of protection, of being special. And the young man I’d just met was so adamant that the Bible taught this. Why hadn’t I ever learned about this?

The most common argument I hear against headcovering is that the passage is actually talking about long hair, not some sort of veil or hat. (If you want to read a very scholarly exposition of the passage and refutation of this idea and others, read my father-in-law’s article.) The reason that I cannot personally adopt this interpretation is that verse 6 does not make any sense with this reading. If you follow the “long hair” logic, you would be “covered” if your hair were long, and “not covered” if your hair were short. Verse 6 talks about not being covered. If we insert “have short hair” for “be not covered” in this verse, we get “For if the woman have short hair, let her also be shorn (have short hair).” How can you “also” have short hair if you already have short hair? The passage only makes sense to me if it’s talking about two things: long hair and a headcovering.

Young Mr. Parunak and I fell in love within the week. I returned home to my family in Oregon, my beau and I spanning the distance with letters and phone calls, headcovering being a common topic as I wrestled through this new idea.

Another common argument is that headcovering was just a cultural issue at Corinth. I’ve heard all kinds of ideas on how this was the case, the most bizare being that the Corinthian women were actually taking off all their clothes at church, and that since they started with their headcoverings, what Paul was actually saying here is that they should quit stripping. I haven’t been able to make peace with this view either. For starters, while 1 Corinthians was written to the church at Corinth, it was also written to “all that in every place call upon the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, both theirs and ours” (1 Corinthians 1:2), so its teachings are for everyone, and its commands are binding on any believer regardless of home city or culture.

But the biggest reason, I can’t convince myself of the “culture at Corinth” argument is that the Bible never says, “Cover your head so the people at the market place don’t think the wrong things about you,” or even, “Cover, so your brothers and sisters don’t think the wrong thing.” It says, “For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels” (1Corinthians 11:10). The culture at work here is not Corinthian culture at all; it’s angelic culture. I don’t know anything about angelic culture, so if God says that He wants me to do something for His angels to see, in my mind, I simply have to do it, no questions asked.

A circle of lace from the fabric store, edged with a narrow, ruffled band, held on with a hat pin. My mind was made up, but my heart was beating in my ears. What would people think? Would anyone say anything to me my first time at my home church in a headcovering? It’s hard to be different. But I didn’t have a choice. I was starting to believe this, and as it turned out, no one said a word.

Some people say that headcovering is just “too weird.” Women won’t want to become Christians if it means they have to put some funky cloth on their heads. This argument is based on 1 Corinthians 9:22 “I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. ” And it’s a good thing to keep in mind when we’re talking about things that we think up on our own. It’s a very valid reason not to wear a fake rhinoceros horn on the end of your nose, for example. But it’s not really a good reason to throw out commands that God gives us. Christians are called to do a lot of things that make us look weird, like saving sex for marriage, not getting drunk, or loving people who hate us. Would anyone seriously say, “I need to take up prostitution, so I don’t look too weird to the prostitutes I’m trying to reach,” or even, “I need to start gossiping, so the women I have coffee with will know they can become Christians and still be normal.” If God tells us to do something, we have to do it, even we look weird.

Eventually, I became known as “the girl who always wears hats.” I covered at church and college group functions, and I covered whenever I had my devotions. But gradually, I began to notice something. When I finished my devotions, I didn’t want to be “done.” I wanted the closeness with the Lord to continue, the prayer lines to stay open. I wanted the ease of just talking to the Lord whenever I wanted to without the hassle of getting my covering out again. I would have devotions and want to leave my headcovering on while I pulled out my textbooks. Before long, I had simply fallen into covering my head all the time in my dorm room. When I graduated, and became Mrs. Parunak, I covered all the time when I was at home alone, but quickly yanked my headcovering off when Mr. Parunak arrived home because I was just “sure” that he preferred me uncovered if we weren’t actually at church or praying together.

It strikes me as odd how many men there are who still take 1 Corinthians 11 seriously when it comes to NOT praying with their heads covered. They’ll take off their hats in a rain storm or the blazing sun to pray, and they would never, ever approve of a preacher getting up to pray before a congregation with a hat on his head. Yet these very same men seem completely oblivious to their wives praying uncovered. “1 Corinthians is talking about hair!” they’ll say, while I quietly wonder why, if that’s true, they still feel they need to take their hats off to pray since the hair under those hats is quite short.

It was on the road again, but this time it was our own little car, and we were on our way home from church, rather than driving to church. I was recounting to Mr. Parunak how I had told my friend about how much I wanted to cover full-time, but how I wasn’t doing it because I knew my husband wouldn’t like it. He said, “What ever gave you that idea?” That night, we went over 1 Corinthians 11 again. It really did seem to be saying that women should have their heads covered when they pray. That, coupled with the fact that we are to “pray without ceasing” (1Thessalonians 5:17), convinced us to go ahead and have me start. I was so excited.

Today, I wear a long kerchief style covering (looks a bit like our Charity sisters, if you’re familiar with them), and I love it so much. It’s still hard sometimes to be different. But oddly enough, it’s much harder among other Christians than out in the world. Strangers have visibly softened. I’ve noticed a gentleness and respect from a lot of people that I hardly ever saw when I tried to look more “normal” out in public. It’s made me more aware of my testimony out in public, too, because I know people are watching. And for someone who believes 1 Corinthians 11 means what I believe it does, full-time covering is a luxurious relief, freeing me to pray any time throughout the day without having to worry about whether my hands are covered with raw meat, bread dough, or garden dirt, or busy with laundry or babies, and unable to grab a headcovering at that moment.

And that is my story, a glimpse inside the head of a genuine oddity, a freak, but a convicted freak, and a happy one. That’s the view from under my veil.

***

1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1Co 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
1Co 11:5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
1Co 11:6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
1Co 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
1Co 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1Co 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
1Co 11:10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
1Co 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
1Co 11:12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.
1Co 11:13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1Co 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
1Co 11:16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.